The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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