i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
