so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
