at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
