somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
