so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
