I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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