sarcasm needs its own font
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
