it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
