6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
