I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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