Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
