talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
