DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
