I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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