I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
