she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
