I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
