Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
