Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
