the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
