just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
