real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
