do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
