Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
