wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
