I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
