That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
