we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
