he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
