"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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