fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
