there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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