I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
