her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Text me some of your sweat
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
