I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
