WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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