"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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