you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
