Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
