idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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