sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
