Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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