there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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