I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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