it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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