we're blogging at a bar
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
