That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
