this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
