who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
