u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
