she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
